Dating your spouse

Mark your wife's birthday, your wedding anniversary, and Mother's Day on your calendar every year and plan to make those days special.

Take twenty minutes several nights a week to read, discuss, and pray through a shorter book such as Ephesians or Philippians.

these are things we have implemented over the past 3 months after we decided we needed to start ‘dating’ again.

our extreme comfort levels were not helping us feel sexy/passionate towards each other and we were starting to feel more like roommates and less like husband and wife.

In the beginning, the reason for dating is to get to know someone better to see if this is a good fit.

After marriage, the reason for dating to know your spouse better to ensure a good fit. The bottom line is dating your spouse is only as beneficial as a person makes it.

Making time for weekly (or even simply bi-monthly) “date nights” may seem like an added stressor when two people are already pressed for time, but allotting a meal, an activity or simply an hour for a couple to reconnect can have some seriously therapeutic effects, not just on the relationship, but on yourself.

Let’s also pretend that you’re taking a turn planning the date and you really want to make it special. It was wise counsel that my wife and I heard when we were first married.After years in a long-term relationship, it's easy to slip into a complacent routine that's a little too comfortable.After all, sharing a toothbrush isn't so sexy, and the silence you experience while the two of you are reading in bed might linger a little too long because you've maintained a casual text conversation all day.So, what’s the best possible way you can think of to make sure you have the best possible time on your date? As the years have happily rolled on by, it still stands as the best way I know of to date and keep the romance alive.So what does doing your partner’s favorite thing often even mean? First, think about what your spouse absolutely loves to do.While this lesson is clearly valuable, it can also be extended to those individuals already in a relationship.Whether you think you and your significant other are in a rut, or whether you simply know the importance of there always being so much more to learn about each other, dating your significant other is equally important in maintaining a healthy and lasting relationship.It may sound overly-simple, but “dating,” even while in a relationship, will remind you why you kept seeing this individual in the first place.Getting out of the comfort zone of your apartments and dressing up in something other than PJs will serve as a reminder of the perhaps slightly-more-exciting people you guys were before becoming mutually exclusive.As a counselor who has worked with over a thousand couples, I’m still shocked by the resistance that comes from a simple suggestion of dating your spouse. There are hundreds of books, seminars, conferences, youtube videos, and articles detailing the benefits of regularly dating your spouse.Yet many still see this as a waste of time, energy and money.

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