Ways to take a break from dating

When you hear the phrase, “We were on a break,” you may immediately think of Ross and Rachel on “Friends” whose relationship seemed to unravel after they decided to take a break from one another.But part of the reason for their break’s lack of success had to do with the fact that each one had a different idea of what taking a break actually meant.Even the new term — marriage break — carries a lighter, more optimistic tone.How do you facilitate a break, and what are the rules?Patty and Gus, of San Jose, never thought marriage would feel like this.After 21 years together, they barely spoke except to argue about whose fault it was that a bill was delinquent or a car was still in need of repair. Finally, when the bickering sped up and the intimacy stopped, it was Patty who asked Gus to move out so they could “both get space” and try to remember why they got married in the first place.“It’s the existential is-the-grass-greener-on-the-other-side question.” People too often dismiss a break as the same as a breakup—or at the very least, a precursor to the end.In my experience, in fact, breaks have always led to breakups.

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We become entangled in each other’s families, friends and Twitter feeds. Soul mates get married, have kids, then usually blog about how lucky they are. Even if we think we want a future with our partner, we aren’t 100 percent convinced.

Your feelings of frustration and bitterness are likely more transparent to dates than you might realize, and it sounds like a break would be a good idea.

_____ [More from Jasbina] — [INTERVIEW] Diana Kirschner Interview: Online Dating Strategies _____ While dating certainly can take us out of our comfort zones and make us feel vulnerable, the rewards of a healthy and happy relationship make it well worth it.

I feel like my frustration with the dating process is making me bitter.

Should I take a break to clear my head or just push through and hope I meet someone?

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